I don’t know if you have caught up, but I have managed to have both boys with me through the lock-down. I scooted over to Edinburgh and got the big one from his student flat just a few days before we were locked down .. and his flat is now being used by a front-line worker that needs to be apart from their family for a while. Silver Linings!
So … part of the agreement was that we were all on “family time”. meaning through the week we get up and showered and dressed before setting about our days. We eat together and we try to get to bed at a reasonable time too .. building rhythms and routines to the day that can sustain us for the weeks or maybe months ahead.
But Sunday – Sundays I don’t chase them out of bed. They lie till they wake and we gather for brunch with them still clothed in jammies and ruffled from sleep.
Which means the mornings are my own …. and they are precious!
No news playing in the background! I mean we can guess what its going to be about anyways can’t we? No noise, no music to distract … just me (and the four legged one) and hot coffee and silence ……
……..and in the silence you can hear your dreams whispering!
As I boil a kettle, straighten some cushions and carry my coffee up to sit in the little corner of the garden that gathers the morning sun …. my dreams beggin to bubble up again.
All week I am juggling the usual work and Mummy stuff (Yup! I have decided that even though I will not be earning for months to come and there is no support from the Givernment for me that I still have a job of work to do) .. and of course keeping a eagle eye on the boys ..looking for signals that they are not coping; or need help; or need a moment of privacy; or family or cuddles from Mum….. my waking hours are full with being present and taking care and coping with this strange new world that we find ourselves inhabiting.
But, these quiet morning moments are a salve for my soul. They allow me to gently drift down and connect with the deeper me .. the me that still believes she can make a difference in this world, the me that still believes she is creative, the me that still believes that she can live her very best life.
I gather these moments as a squirrel gathers nuts and store them away for the future … and sometimes the ideas begin to flow forward like water tumbling down a highland burn and I am compelled to grab a pen and scribble them down so that they do not flow away and are lost forever.
In the quiet I hear my ideas .. the solutions to issues I have been wrangling with all week .. or simply … like today .. an idea for a series of blog posts / podcast episodes / book .. (no idea yet!) In the space of five minutes I had 37 titles over three pages.
In moments like this – when I get out of my own way, get quiet and actually listen my inner voice speaks so clearly! In fact in more rational moments I say “ I’m just taking dictation from the universe’ as the ideas tumble out onto paper as quickly as I can scribble them down
A few minutes of frenetic writing and then it slows, stumbles and stops …. I have everything that I need! The message is done, it has been delivered!
I often wonder how many great pieces of literature or art would have been created if we as women permitted ourselves time to listen to our deeper voices? If we had moments like this built into our days/ weeks/months/years when we could focus on just being .. us!
Where we could put down the baby, the laundry. The cooking pot, the iron or the mop and take up a pen, a new notebook a blank piece of paper and scribe ourselves and alternative future.
Do you think, perhaps? That in this period of time when it seems that the “Rules of the Game of Live” have been suspended for a while, while the whole world holds its breath, where we seem to be hanging in a dreamlike state like the one that we inhabit between Christmas and New Year ..that we could find ourselves some time to find out who we really are?
I wonder what the new world would look like with women emerging stronger, more skilled, more empowered and more creative?
I wonder which of us will close businesses, create new ones, discover our lives work or our souls journey? I wonder who will cleave closer to old relationship and who will let them go with love? I wonder who will use this time as an excuse for everything that goes wrong in the future and who wil use it as the moment that changed everything?
I do know this – that in these new times … that the choice is either one we make for ourselves or we allow other to make for us.
Be quiet, dream, connect and listen to the messages that the silence can bring XX