Its been a funny weekend here at MFin3 HQ – as at the weekend we kind of “down tools” a little and have more of those “deeper” conversations with friends and family and colleagues.
So instead of “Hi Mum – you still alive? Gotta run and cook for the boys!” or “Hi Phil – have you got the book introduction for me? Great! Email it over” its more meandering conversations whilst crocheting endless rows of borders … or ironing .. or baking.
One thing that struck me in catching up with my pals over the weekend is this – we are not all in the same boat!
We may be all in a similar situation … locked down and missing the personal daily interactions .. but they way we are reacting and feeling are so very different.
Some are in houses with large gardens and home offices .. for them life goes on pretty much as usual as they pick up and work from home .. others are in inner city flats with neighbours that are fraying at the seams and a feeling that the walls are closing in on them.
You would think the pal in the first situation would be happier, more contented – feeling much more able to cope – but its NOT so.
At the end of this some of us are going to emerge bright eyed and bushy tailed – excited about meeting with the world again and engaging with all the great stuff that has been set aside for a while. Others will carry heavy burdens of resentment about how somehow they have missed out, were held back, were disadvantaged.
Those who find the balance inside will thrive – those who seek others to create the balance are finding life very hard right now.
Some seeks to manifest a degree of control by being the very “best” at this lock-down that they can. They have accepted that much in their lives is beyond their absolute control and instead seek to create the “bubble of happiness” within their own four walls. They look outwards, connect, learn new skills that make life more pleasurable .. but most of all have slowed down to this new temporary pace of life and find pleasure in the small moments, the now!
Others are at the stage of railing against the confines – the restrictions, the privations. Each time they venture forth to shop and cannot buy the exact brand or food they desire it’s a personal slight. Every time they want to hop in the car and go visit someone but can’t – its a personal restriction.
So who will come through this reflecting how it was hard – but that they were given this gift of time? Those who remain fluid. Those who seek not to conquer the new rules and bend them to their whims but who seek instead to build their own resilience , to truly get to know their partner and kids and find ways to live together in close confines with strengthening bonds rather than fracturing ones.
Those who do not complain about being denied community but instead reach out and connect with others, in different ways and find meaning in giving and sharing and supporting with new methods.
Life is not fair! We have not all been dealt an even hand.
We are as a planet all on the same journey, to the same destination (a time afterwards) … maybe even to a better time afterwards?
We are not all in the same boat! Some of us have build compact, nimble and flexible craft which can quickly pivot and head off rapidly into calmer waters. Others are at the stage now of fiddling on board the deck of the Titanic as the water laps around their ankles.
The time before is gone – there is only now and its our reaction to what happens now that will determine how we thrive in the future world to come.
So lets band together – watch out for our friends who are finding this such a struggle and be there when the cracks in their carefully curated reality starts to show. The skills they need cannot be bought, cannot be outsourced, cannot be delegated .. but must instead be learned by a receptive mind at the right time .. .. maybe you will be the one with the lesson at hand when they are ready.
Remember the mantra we came into this global situation with?
So simple …. but maybe this new “normal” should be made of simpler things? What do you think?